A while back we talked about our zombie apocalypse survival dream team. With these characters at our side we would easily survive the most terrifying zombie apocalypse.
When we were filming that video we kept joking about characters who we thought wouldn’t stand a chance if they found themselves in a zombie apocalypse. Whether it be because they possess no survival skills, they’re the type to sacrifice all their friends for the greater good… or well… just an asshole. These are the people we would never let join our roving band of survivors. Or if it came down to it, we’d rather make our way alone than be trapped with them.
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1. EVERYONE FROM GOSSIP GIRL – CECILY VON ZIEGESAR
Can you imagine the arguments that you would have with these people? The young and the rich of the Upper East Side would be far out of their comfort zones without their usual creature comforts. Would they be able to adjust to this new world order, where the zombies are the priority instead of gossip.
The more I think about it, a Gossip Girl style blog coming out of a zombie infested world would be an interesting read… I think the closest you can get to this now is the social media obsessed trilogy Feed but that’s where their similarities stop.
2. JOHANNES CABAL FROM THE JOHANNES CABAL SERIES BY JONATHAN L. HOWARD
At first glance, having a necromancer in your zombie apocalpyse team seems like it would make a lot of sense. Someone who can control the undead in a world teaming with them? It seems like a match made in Heaven. The more Chelsey and I talked about it though, the idea of having Cabal with us seemed like a seriously bad plan. Johannes Cabal doesn’t care about anyone but himself. All of a sudden he has a nice little control group that he could experiment with. Example: Chuck Bass goes off to collect wood with Johannes, you’ll probably never see poor old Chuck again.
Check out our review of Johannes Cabal the Detective here and our review of Brothers Cabal here.
3. KELADRY FROM THE PROTECTOR OF THE SMALL BY TAMORA PIERCE
Kel is the type of person who would want to stop and help every person you pass on the side of the road. Well that is wonderful, you would probably end up in more danger than if you were to pick and choose your battles. Remember, small groups people. Stay in small groups. Kel would also be the person who would be always hopeful that maybe someone would manage to recover from a zombie bite, or fight off the infection.
Check out our review of Protector of the Small here.
4. AUGUSTUS WATERS FROM THE FAULT IN OUR STARS – JOHN GREEN
Sit back and imagine having someone on your team who really wants to be the hero. This person would want to go down as the greatest person in history. Who would willingly sacrifice everything for what they see as the greater good.
I’m going to be honest. If I ever find myself in a zombie apocalypse, my plans are simple. Collect supplies, hole myself up somewhere and wait it out. Augustus on the other hand would be the type who would want to try and find the cure.
Honestly the more I think about it, he and Kell can go spend the zombie apocalypse together. Far away from me.
Check out our review of The Fault in Our Stars here.
5. GILDEROY LOCKHART FROM HARRY POTTER – J.K. ROWLING
Zombies are no match for his charming hair and perfect smile.
Do memory charms work on zombies? Could Lockhart be the true answer? Make people forget that they are zombies and let them return to functioning as normal people instead of brain munching monsters? These are the important questions. We just don’t want to be there to see it happen.
Now watch this entire group get together and manage to survive and rebuild society. I’d be surprised.
Who would you not want on your zombie apocalypse team and why? Tell us about them in the comments below. Until next week and next Wednesday, happy reading!
